Just when we all have come so far, getting along so, so well together, in this post racial Kumbaya society,  we discover that New York City’s iconic department store retailer – good old Barneys – has been enforcing a policy of “Guilty while shopping Black“.  At a hastily arranged press conference, Barneys‘ CEO, Mark Lee, quickly gathered together as many influential African Americans as he could on such short notice, to announce, “We, at Barneys, are as color-blind as white folks like me can be.”

Barneys‘ CEO Lee later told Satire-ish.com’s Inna Fakina that, “Some of my very, very best friends – well, maybe, just casual contacts –  are African Americans; others, less affluent, are Negro, and a few – those receiving food stamps or Medicare – are indeed Colored but in a very, very good  and decent way; and all are welcome, this upcoming holiday season, to shop at Barneys without being harassed or racially profiled as they might be at Macy’s or Saks Fifth Avenue.”

Lee categorically denied stories, reported in the New York Times, and elsewhere, that Barneys’ African American customers have been singled out for, as the Rev. Al Sharpton described, Shop & Frisk policies.

“At Barneys, cash is, and always has been, King,” said CEO Lee. “And speaking of Kings… I, like Martin Luther King, Jr., also have a dream that we may look forward to the day when we all may be judged simply by the content of our character. But until that day comes, we will continue to muddle along, in our imperfect way, trying to distinguish between those who come to Barneys to shop and those who come to Barneys to shoplift with the assistance of the always racially neutral New York Police Department.”