A Sean Elias Audio Interpretation:

Upon learning that President Obama acquired his skeet rifle from the cold dead hands of Charlton Heston, the Republican leadership promised immediate legislation requiring registration of all guns owned, or possessed, by registered Democrats. The National Rifle Association released a statement doubting the legitimacy of the photograph of the President firing a skeet rifle. “The picture was obviously Photoshopped.” Former House Speaker Pelosi immediately denied the NRA’s accusation and released a picture of Obama wedged between the faces of Washington and Jefferson at Mount Rushmore.”

At a hastily arranged press conference, Republican Congressman, and former Vice Presidential candidate, Paul Ryan said, “I’m shocked that a Democrat would own a gun. It just doesn’t happen in a civilized society.  What’s next? Armed Democrats protecting abortion clinics.  It’s wrong, it’s dangerous and it ought to be stopped. I know it may not be politically correct to say this, but that’s what happens when you let those elite, over-educated, inner-city types into the White House.”

In response to a reporter asking Congressman Ryan whether there could be a deeper meaning to Obama firing a rifle at Camp David, Ryan said, “I’ve seen a recent Harvard study that said Democrats are genetically incapable of owning or firing a weapon. If that’s true, Obama is really a Republican. If that’s true, WE WON!!  Oh my God. The Republicans Won! Excuse me, I have to go work on my acceptance speech and get Biden the hell out of my office.”