A Sean Elias Audio Interpretation: 

Mitt Romney’s announced his support for “a really neat idea”, namely that gays and lesbians would be permitted to marry but not divorce.  “You can’t fight to get out of a club your demanding admission to,” Romney reasoned.

Revealed at a secret Republican Think-Tank, held this week in Oxymoronica, Kansas, Senator Closet’s plan would allow same-sex marriages but would not permit such marriages to be terminated by annulment or divorce.

A spokesperson for the Gay & Lesbian Alliance said that same-sex couples are entitled to the same rights as heterosexual couples, which includes, “… the right to marry and divorce.”  But in a startling development, a spokesperson at the Vatican speaking for the Pope said, “The Holy Father favors any law that prevents divorce and upholds the sanctity of marriage.”  Asked later whether this represented a tacit approval of same-sex marriage, the Pope explained, “Some of my best friends are gays and lesbians, but I wouldn’t want to marry one – joke joke.  Come on – lighten up.”  Immediately thereafter an emergency meeting at the Vatican was held behind closed doors.  Though later denied by the Vatican, a reliable source within the Vatican, who requested not to be named, said the Pope was sent to bed early without his beads or dessert.