In an King Solomon-ish opinion, a Pennsylvania court decided voters without proper photo i.d. can be humiliated and threatened but cannot be prevented from voting. In a companion case, the same Court is expected to rule later today on a second law passed by the Republican controlled Pennsylvania legislature. As decided in that second case, loaded guns can be pointed at voters unable to produce proper i.d., but election officials will not be permitted to fire those weapons at voters “… to intimidate them.” It was not clear whether the court was upholding a poll official’s rights to shoot voters if the intention was not to intimate them. The judge, who signed both of these decisions, was not available to comment but was observed exiting the Courthouse muttering to himself, “I’m late! I’m late! For a very important date!”, before this model of muddled jurisprudence stumbled down a rabbit hole into Wonderland. The National Rifle Association, through a spokesperson, applauded the decisions stating that, “Anything less than permitting citizens to point loaded weapons at other citizens, would have a chilling effect upon our democracy and the second amendment.” When asked to comment, Mitt Romney said that any Mexicans disappearing down rabbit holes in an attempt to get to Wonderland would be self-deported under a Romney administration and was later heard lamenting to his wife Ann as he left a scheduled event, “Even Nixon didn’t want to be president this badly.”
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