This morning, in a desperate attempt to restore his increasingly damaged image from “Bridgegate”, Governor Chris Christie met with angry and undecided voters in Fort Lee, New Jersey. When told she would not vote for him because he was a “schoolyard bully”, Christie interrupted the three year-old and told her to “Shut-up”. Later, Christie explained his outburst as follows, “I never took any shit from three year-olds when I was teenager, and I see no reason to start now.”

 

In an unrelated story, a cell-phone video recorded Christie saying, ” I’d be honored to run for President of The United States on the same ticket with Vladimir Putin. I admire his in-your-face, New Jersey style, take-no-prisoners attitude. While I continue to deny any responsibility for shutting down the George Washington Bridge, I admit, now, it would have sent a much clearer message, to Democrats and all my enemies, to simply beat them with horse-whips.  And, yes, I confirm rumors that I requested, from Russian President Putin, a plane-load of Cossacks, who will join my administration upon arrival.”

Putting his verbal attack on the three year-old child and comments about Putin in a more favorable context, a spokesperson for Governor Christie said, “The Governor, as always, consistently and adamantly takes no responsibility for what goes in, or comes out of, his mouth.”