Falling In Love With Negative Space

A Sean Elias Audio Interpretation:

Ever have someone compliment you for not being a certain way?  Ever been attracted to someone mostly because they were so different from someone else from your past?  If so, you know all about obsessing on negative space.

Falling In Love With Negative Space 

What is it about the way we choose lovers that too often makes us wonder, “Of all my many choices made, was not that one my Worst?”

I’m listening for clues today, my love; playing our first Words slowly forward, then again Reversed.

Scratching beneath the surface to see how we process what we first discover about the other — what we hold, discard or Replace.

And in that process, do we not – too often – focus on Negative Space?

Judging each other based on what each of us is Not,

as if I were the sum of all I Ain’t; as if you were the sum of all you’re Not.


If my Soul, you were inclined to Paint,

would you upon your canvas reveal me as the total of all I Ain’t?

Before making yourself a double martini or stealing from your son’s desk draw another Joint,

let me cut to the chase and make my Point.


In the beginning of our Beginning, you said, “I am so very attracted to you because you are not: a big drinker, a gambler,  a right-winger, an obsessed religious fanatic, a womanizer” and lots of other stuff  I’ve never Been.

When focusing so on what I ain’t – that so perfectly describes your lovers left behind – how will you decide whether I’m worth selling or buying, whether I’m out or In?


I’m describing your behavior, but not pointing fingers or casting Blame;

in fact, I’m afraid I behave the same.

As we Glance through our Rear-View-Mirrors, we’re shocked to See:

we’ve been attracted – Subconsciously –

to traits exactly opposite of those we Hate,

Possessed by the Mate,

Last left Behind,

whose larger than life negative parts we can’t, evidently, shake from our Mind.


I’m suggesting nothing but a small change in how we process, how we use Intuition,

a slight alteration – as sailors say – in tacking Position.

I recommend we focus on what each of us Possesses, on what we each have to Offer,

And let’s deposit those assets,  those  jewels in our Coffer.


In short, my thesis on obsessing over Negative Space is easy to Summarize:

When alone, when we privately gaze to the heavens and make a wish upon a


We should wish not for someone who Ain’t but for someone who



  1. Gives a whole new meaning to “he/she loves me he/she loves me not”.

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